Originally I thought about entitling the post, “Choosing the Right Path to Achieving Your Dreams,” until I realized that there is no “right” path. Life is a tricky game in which we are offered many options and paths to take but aren’t told which ones will lead us where we want to go.
While there may not be one “right” path, I believe you can decide between what is the best path for you to achieve your desired goals and dreams.
One of my hobbies is reading success stories. I do it because it encourages me to move forward with my dreams bit by bit in a consistent way. From all the success stories that I’ve digested in my life so far, I’ve noticed two basic patterns: there is a direct and an indirect route.
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The direct route tends to be taken by those who charge full force towards their dream despite the obvious risks and obstacles, while those who take the indirect route, tend to be more pragmatic and strategic in fulfilling their dreams.
While I wouldn’t say one approach is better than the other, I think some people are better suited for the direct approach while others for the indirect. It is a matter of personality and attitude more than anything else. This is an example of a situation in which an understanding of your Myers-Brigss type can be extremely helpful.
For example, being an Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceiving type, I am much more suited to decisions drawn from my intuition. While I do analyze data when I am making decisions about investments, I would say, most of the time, I weigh my intuitive sense higher than analytical indicators. People who are Thinking and Judging types may find that they lean more heavily towards data analysis when making decisions.
Both work, it’s just a matter of picking what is most natural for you.
Choose the Most Natural Path Towards Your Dreams
Your unique personality is one of the hardest variables to grapple with when trying to glean advice from your peers and elders. No one can tell you what’s best to do for you because they have no way of accounting for your unique personality.
Picking the most natural path in pursuing your dreams involves first examining the type of person you are when you eliminate all external influences–this is your ideal state.
My ideal state is evaluating a situation quickly and then running head first into the challenge. That’s how I am wired. My mother often comments on how I’ve changed so much since I was a toddler, when I would hold carefully onto the railing as I climbed down the stairs in our home. Compared to my sister, who apparently made an art out of tumbling down stairs, I was the slow and steady one.
My parents always chide me for making “rash” decisions, for “not thinking enough” before acting. For a long time, I felt extremely guilty about my supposedly poor habits, until I started thinking that maybe I just work best this way.
Some people learn by doing, others learn by watching and still others learn by osmosis. (I was always jealous of the osmosis kids in school.) I personally learn by doing. While I like reading and learning through books, I tend to learn faster by getting my hands dirty and doing whatever it is I’m trying to do.
The most natural path for me is the direct one. Barreling towards my goal with all the energy, drive and passion I can muster up.
But you may be different; it may fit your personality better to find a more indirect approach to getting where you want to go. Perhaps you want to be an artist, but are currently stuck working in a 9-5 job which you need to pay the bills. An indirect route would be to stay at the job while you pursue your art in your free time. While the direct route may involve you quitting your job and spending most of your time doing your art and finding a means of supporting yourself part time.
Or perhaps you are dreaming of working on your own business, but don’t want to wait until your 35 and have the resources and “experience” to do it. If you’re like me, I would say just do it. Don’t bother waiting for people to tell you that it is now okay to follow your dream; that person may never come. If you are used to taking risks and leaping head first, then forget the fears and just bite the bullet.
Ignoring The Nagging Voice of Fear
The most formidable obstacle an individual faces in achieving their dreams is fear; fear of failure, of lack of resources or talent.
Some people can manage their fears better if they strategize around them while others do better by just facing them dead on. However, in the end, everyone will face the nagging voice of fear in one form or another.
Even if you’ve managed to overcome your own fears, you may find yourself paralyzed be the fears of your friends and family. No one wants to see you fail, especially not the people close to you. They will take it upon themselves to encourage you to take the safe path.
The only problem is, safe is a relative term. What is safe for one person may not be safe for another; likewise, what is risky for one person may not be risky for another.
The direct path, while it sounds riskier, is no less risky than the indirect path. If you thrive by tackling challenges head on, then by taking a more round about means of getting where you want to go, you risk losing momentum and focus. On the other hand, if you are more a step by step problem solver, jumping into something head first could be very risky because you may not know how best to respond to the situation after you leap into it.
If you’re waiting for someone to tell you to start that business when everything seems to be screaming “just do it” then maybe you should just do it. Look back into your past and try to identify instances where you’ve made big decisions and examine how you approached them. Did you leap into them or did you tackle them in a step by step, piecemeal fashion? Was the outcome what you wanted or did you wish you did something differently? I’m a big believer in looking at our past actions because they often reveal a wealth of insightful information on how we make decisions.
When people give you advice they tend to project their fears on you. This can be helpful if you are very similar to the person you are speaking with, but it can also be potentially disastrous. Inappropriate advice is worse than no advice at all.
Ask people for advice, but always remember that you are your best judge.
Whether you take the direct route to your dreams or the indirect route is up to you. But before you decide make sure you examine your own personality and problem solving style as well as your past actions. What you discover may surprise you.
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< ![CDATA[[...] something that has been on my mind quite a bit recently and I mentioned it once in my previous post ; Choosing the Best Path to Achieving Your Dreams but now I would like to delve into the concept of the “Ideal State”; a bit [...] ]]>