I started an article with this title, but since I haven’t gotten very far with it I figured I would write a shorter blog entry on this topic and expand from there. This is going back to my last blog entry
Some R&R - Rest and Reflection, where I made the point that every person has their own unique journey in life and because it is unique everyone has to, in the end, make their own decisions which will determine how their journey unfolds. Something that I’ve realized in my own life is that I am indecisive; although I have gotten much better at making decisions as I’ve grown in age and wisdom 
I find that when it comes to making decisions, whether it large (direction in life) or small (whether I should try out a new restaurant), I often find myself caught up in an endless pro vs. con debate. There are generally two areas that determine a person’s uniqueness: the first is our genes, which we have no control over; and the second is our decisions. Since there isn’t much we can do about our genes just yet, I will focus on the second area–our decisions.
Most people make decisions in life by looking at the people around them and copying what they do. This is apparent when you look at consumer trends; people tend to buy things that other people buy, especially when what is purchased is extremely visible (e.g. Ipod, designer clothing etc.) According to Earl Nightingale’s The Greatest Secret, 95 out of every 100 individuals never set their own goals or make their own decisions they merely conform to those around them. This seems to be the case whether it comes to long-term life decisions or short-term daily ones. For example, in college, two of the most coveted job positions are management consulting and investment banking; most students, even if they could care less about either of the two fields, would interview with at least one company between the two industries or at least seriously consider sending their resume in. Many of my very bright and talented classmates seemed to follow suit with the general student body when it came time to apply for full-time positions.
For most of my life I’ve followed conventional wisdom in making important decisions. For example I decided to go to a brand name college thinking that it would help me in the future and I also started out majoring in computer science like a vast number of other students, because it seemed to have the highest potential for getting a high paying job out of college and because it looked good on your resume. But in time I realized that I either had to embrace my own uniqueness including interests, abilities and talents, or I would have to accept the likelihood of ending up going in a direction of little interest to me.
This brings me to the point of this post, which is knowing thyself. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Self Reliance, “Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events.” What does trusting thyself have to do with knowing thyself? Well in order to trust thyself one needs to know thyself. Trusting thyself is an act of faith that is founded on knowing thyself.
So what does it mean to “Know Thyself?”
Knowing oneself has to do with exploring and then embracing one’s uniqueness. For example if you like apples, but everyone around you likes oranges, chances are you will consider giving up your beloved apples for oranges; this is especially true if being part of the “in” group of orange lovers ensures security and instant friendship. This happens more often then we care to believe. It’s much easier to go with the flow, to follow suit with popular consensus, than it is to embrace your own uniqueness; this is a very evident different between American culture and Japanese culture. American culture is very much about being an individual while Japanese culture is focused on conforming to the general standard. Personally I am biased towards American individualism (hence this article), but I think both perspectives have their respective strengths and weaknesses.
Here’s how I would describe the process of “Knowing Thyself.”
- Ignore the general consensus.
- Develop your own ideas.
- Stick with your own ideas. (aka “Trusting Thyself”)
Most people never get pass step one which is why originality in this world is so rare and thus so highly esteemed in our society. The irony is that the once an individual is recognized by society, they run the risk of losing their newly discovered self to the greater whole; the closest analogy would be the obscure punk rock band gaining celebrity and then “selling out” and going mainstream.
In my own life I find that when I lose my sense of self, i.e. when I look to those around me or society to define who I am and the kinds of decisions I should make, I end up getting very depressed and languid. It’s as if the weight of conformity is so overwhelming that my well being suffers. I believe the majority of people in this world are so used to this pressure of conformity that they no longer recognize the immensity of its weight.
Whenever I catch myself wishing to be like someone else, or wishing that I had another life, another body, other talents or abilities, I have to remind myself that I have been uniquely created and I am my own standard and that in order to be the best that I can be, I have only to know myself and trust myself and the rest will fall into place.
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Tags: Virtues · Words of Wisdom2 Comments
2 responses so far ↓
< ![CDATA[I would like to hear more, esp about step 1.
I don't know if I disagree - there are parts that I definitely agree with but when so much of what we want is to be accepted, sometimes looking around us for guidance isn't necessarily bad. Also, we use other people as markers - if I know person A has similar interests, talents, strengths and weaknesses, I would assume that person A may be doing something that I should consider. We often assume that if someone likes something that is very popular, the reason behind liking that thing is fueled by its popularity - however, there is often a reason why something is so popular, perhaps it really is superior or valuable. Sometimes finding a better alternative is difficult to the point of not being worth it or maybe there is no truly better alternative.
Another assumption is that individuality is necessarily valuable - I question the value of individuality - I also question 'individuality'.]]>
< ![CDATA[[...] an earlier post entitled Knowing and Trusting Thyself, I described “knowing thyself” as a three step process involving: 1. Ignoring the general [...] ]]>