Chester’s Tips for Success

Yesterday I gave my first Toastmasters speech.  I think it went well, though I definitely spoke faster than I intended.  I find it funny how no matter what I do I still get a little nervous when getting up to speak.  But I still love it! Here’s the speech, please enjoy!

Hello everyone my name is Kevin Chester Kuo and I think life is like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re gonna get… Well almost.  If you’ve watched the movie Forest Gump then you probably recognize the quote.  To be more precise, I think life is like a box of chocolates and it is our job to find the sweetest and tastiest chocolate in the box.  This is a philosophy I live by and today I would like to share how it has shaped my life.

I was born on January 12th, 1985 in NYU University hospital.  My parents immigrated to America from Taiwan in the early 1970s studying first in Illinois and then moving to New York City.  As a child I grew up with an insatiable curiosity and a love for stories.  Naturally I gravitated towards movies, television and video games.  I loved to dream about epic medieval battles between knights and wizards, passionate romances between princes and princesses, and the bold and courageous deeds of superheroes.  I’ve always been interested in stories and adventures, but it wasn’t until I reached high school that I began to understand that it was possible to bridge the gap between reality and my beloved world of dreams.

My story starts with my father, Sheafen Frank Kuo, who came to America with a dream of becoming, famous, wealthy and influential; he studied Computer Science and Mathematics and eventually stumbled upon the world of inventing.  As a child I remember watching my father constantly working in the basement amidst a mess of wires and gears; the only time he wasn’t in the basement was during dinner, work hours or when he was sleeping.  Though I didn’t understand my father’s work, I remember how focused he was and how he excited he became whenever someone asked him about his inventions; during middle school he developed the bad habit of forcing my friends to sit down and listen to him talk about his inventions.  My father’s passion was so contagious that during my final year in high school, I decided to work with him on a research project and that was the first time I understood the power of passion; through his passion for inventing my father was able to develop technologies most people could never even dream of; it was his passion for envisioning better technology for a better world that gave him the power to turn his ideas into reality.  Because of the work I did with my father, I was accepted into Stanford University. 

When I started Stanford my dream was to graduate with a degree in Computer Science and start a successful company with my father; however, four years later, I graduated with a degree in East Asian Studies and had a new dream of becoming a world famous writer and film director.  

This 180-degree turn came as a shock for many people, but when I look back on my life in its entirety, it all makes sense.  In college I stumbled upon the writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson, a famous American philosopher and writer who wrote a well-known essay Self Reliance; in it Emerson says: “Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another, you have only an extemporaneous, half possession.”  His words became the impetus for my self discovery and as I began to pursue my own interests and passions fights with my father escalated; he wanted me to follow a similar path as he did, but I resisted.  I rebelled and he disowned me saying that he did not consider me his son anymore.  He would yell at me saying, “I wasted all my time on you!” And I would yell back, “You should have just let me be!”  I stood up to my father because I knew that in order for me to achieve my dreams I had to insist on being myself.

Over the years I’ve come to understand myself much better and I’ve also learned a great deal from my mistakes.  Looking back I realize how immature I was in not accepting my father’s wisdom and advice; but at the same time, I understand that I needed to walk my own path even if it meant upsetting my father.  Life truly is a long and bumpy roller coaster ride.  However, it is because of those bumps and turns along the way that I have been able to find my passion in life, which is to find, create and tell interesting stories.  There is nothing more important to me than that.  Many people often ask me why I studied Japanese and why I’ve decided to come to Japan and though there are a few different reasons, the most significant reason is because I found Japan and Japanese interesting.  I joined Toastmaster’s for the same reason.  The world we live in today is so complex and so full of possibilities that interesting discoveries can be found almost anywhere if we are only bold enough to look.

Though I’ve only lived for 22 years, by following my interests I’ve had the good fortune of stumbling on a number of truly fascinating people in my life: I’ve met a man who could speak 16 languages and who worked a UN interpreter for the UN Secretary General Kofi Anan; I met a couple in China that was forced to spend ten years of their life during the Cultural Revolution farming land in the northernmost region of China, a place so cold and desolate that nothing would grow; I’ve met a man who was a drug dealer as a teen, got shot three times in the head, survived and then dedicated his life to helping ex-convicts.

I like to think of life as a treasure hunt in which we are all participants looking for the biggest, brightest and most beautiful treasure of all.  If life is like a box of chocolates, like Forest Gump says, then our duty as treasure hunters is to find the very best piece of chocolate in the box.  The piece I am searching for is a life of interest marked by challenge, success, passion, love, and service.  We are all treasure hunters of life looking each searching for their own unique gem.  Thank you for listening to my story and I wish you all the best of luck on this treasure hunt called life.

Tags:   Inspiration · Motivational Speeches · Toastmasters1 Comment

There is a universal catch phrase that resounds deeply in almost every culture around the world—“Follow your dreams.” I’ve seen or heard it during my time in Germany, China, America and Japan. What I find ironic is that this phrase is so often attached to some advertisement or promotion of a product, company or organization; in today’s world, “following your dreams” is marketed within the context of our consumer culture. The sad reality is that the essence of “Follow your dreams,” has been replaced with something more along the lines of “Follow the dreams we create, market and sell to you.” People are still following dreams, but it is highly questionable whether or not these dreams are actually their own.

Recently I started reading Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, which along with The Fountainhead are among the most well known of her works. In Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand provides through the artistic form of the novel, her philosophy on life. I am by no means an expert on Ayn Rand, but nevertheless there are a few key points to her philosophy that seem obvious when reading through her works. At the core of her philosophy is an unwavering belief in man; as Ayn Rand sees it, the ideal man is one who is selfishly pursuing his own end for himself. She rejects altruism and any kind of collectivist thoughts that put the whole or the group above the individual; according to her ideas outlined in Capitalism: the Unknown Ideal and The Virtue of Selfishness, Rand believes that the advances of mankind have been brought about primarily through the supreme efforts of a few extraordinarily gifted and talented men who, through their completely selfish actions, were able to lift the whole of human society up on their efforts alone. As far as political systems go, capitalism has been the most effective method of allowing the ideal man to thrive.

Whether or not you agree with Rand’s philosophy, it is still very interesting and is worth understanding. What I find most interesting about her philosophy is that there seems to be some truth to it. Advances in technology and thought can be, for the most part, traced back to a few individuals; passionate, hard working and self-absorbed individuals who had a vision and a goal that they wished to see realized in their lifetime. The richest country in the world, the United States of America, was the product of a few men who came together and set forth to create an institution that would (ideally) serve to protect man’s God-given liberties. Newton paved the way for many of the advancements in mechanics that have made the development of inventions such as airplanes and automobiles possible; Thomas Edison’s invention of the incandescent light bulb made it possible to have light all day and all night without fear of it going out; Mozart and Beethoven have, through their music, forever transformed the influence of music on our lives and our souls. History seems to agree with Rand— all the famous events, discoveries and advances can be traced back to a handful of individuals.

If the best of man is to be found in selfish pursuit of our selfish interests then why isn’t everyone getting with the program? Although I’m sure there are a number of possible answers to this question, the most obvious one is—fear. People, for the most part, are afraid of being themselves to the point where most people have no idea who they even are. We are raised from infancy to “fit in” and to behave to the point where we almost forget that we are first and foremost individuals. It is easier to live according to principles and rules set forth by others, by society, by “conventional wisdom,” religion, than it is to live according to principles that have been decided upon and chosen by the self. Modern society is like a sedative drug that produces a mildly comforting and pleasant feeling that most people are easily addicted to. This is especially the case in our modern consumer culture where instant gratification is the prevailing value and principle that motivates all actions. I think that is why I like the Matrix so much, it’s not only entertaining, but it speaks volumes about the reality of the world we live in today.

Actually when I think about it mankind has probably always been this way. Man started out in the world needing the protection and support of societies from nature and this hasn’t really changed although the forces we are seeking protection against when we opt into this “social contract” of modern society has changed over the millenniums. It seems that this ideal man that Rand posits is the result of evolution and the expected trajectory for man. Man started out needing society, but over the course of evolution, man has advanced to the point where societies have become a hindrance to its development.

Before we I go further I want to clarify the term “selfishness” that Rand uses. When Rand uses the word “selfishness” she is referring, I believe, to an objective pursuit of the self and its interests. In our world it seems that this is looked down upon, which makes sense since the world is constructed of societies; logically, a society would not approve of selfishness because it is a direct threat to the preservation and stability of society whose existence relies on the cooperation of individuals.

What would the world look like if everyone was really doing what they were born to do and were who they were really born to be? I think the world would be much richer, safer and healthier for everyone. People would be happier and that happiness would spread like laughter does in a small room of friends. The earth would also stand to benefit in a world where people, who are fully content with their lives, have no need to take or use more than they need. Finally, I think human advancement in every area would improve, because when people are doing what they were born to do and being who they were born to be, forward is the only direction that we can move in.

These are just some thoughts that I’ve been having about ideal living. I realize many of the ideas have not been fleshed out enough but I think the idea at present has value, which is why I’ve decided to post it. I have yet to fully address the challenges that face the 21^st Century citizen in trying to live a life that is true to the self. That is my next challenge.

Tags:   Inspiration1 Comment

I started an article with this title, but since I haven’t gotten very far with it I figured I would write a shorter blog entry on this topic and expand from there. This is going back to my last blog entry
Some R&R - Rest and Reflection, where I made the point that every person has their own unique journey in life and because it is unique everyone has to, in the end, make their own decisions which will determine how their journey unfolds. Something that I’ve realized in my own life is that I am indecisive; although I have gotten much better at making decisions as I’ve grown in age and wisdom I find that when it comes to making decisions, whether it large (direction in life) or small (whether I should try out a new restaurant), I often find myself caught up in an endless pro vs. con debate. There are generally two areas that determine a person’s uniqueness: the first is our genes, which we have no control over; and the second is our decisions. Since there isn’t much we can do about our genes just yet, I will focus on the second area–our decisions.

Most people make decisions in life by looking at the people around them and copying what they do. This is apparent when you look at consumer trends; people tend to buy things that other people buy, especially when what is purchased is extremely visible (e.g. Ipod, designer clothing etc.) According to Earl Nightingale’s The Greatest Secret, 95 out of every 100 individuals never set their own goals or make their own decisions they merely conform to those around them. This seems to be the case whether it comes to long-term life decisions or short-term daily ones. For example, in college, two of the most coveted job positions are management consulting and investment banking; most students, even if they could care less about either of the two fields, would interview with at least one company between the two industries or at least seriously consider sending their resume in. Many of my very bright and talented classmates seemed to follow suit with the general student body when it came time to apply for full-time positions.

For most of my life I’ve followed conventional wisdom in making important decisions. For example I decided to go to a brand name college thinking that it would help me in the future and I also started out majoring in computer science like a vast number of other students, because it seemed to have the highest potential for getting a high paying job out of college and because it looked good on your resume. But in time I realized that I either had to embrace my own uniqueness including interests, abilities and talents, or I would have to accept the likelihood of ending up going in a direction of little interest to me.

This brings me to the point of this post, which is knowing thyself. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Self Reliance, “Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events.” What does trusting thyself have to do with knowing thyself? Well in order to trust thyself one needs to know thyself. Trusting thyself is an act of faith that is founded on knowing thyself.

So what does it mean to “Know Thyself?”

Knowing oneself has to do with exploring and then embracing one’s uniqueness. For example if you like apples, but everyone around you likes oranges, chances are you will consider giving up your beloved apples for oranges; this is especially true if being part of the “in” group of orange lovers ensures security and instant friendship. This happens more often then we care to believe. It’s much easier to go with the flow, to follow suit with popular consensus, than it is to embrace your own uniqueness; this is a very evident different between American culture and Japanese culture. American culture is very much about being an individual while Japanese culture is focused on conforming to the general standard. Personally I am biased towards American individualism (hence this article), but I think both perspectives have their respective strengths and weaknesses.

Here’s how I would describe the process of “Knowing Thyself.”

1. Ignore the general consensus.
2. Develop your own ideas.
3. Stick with your own ideas. (aka “Trusting Thyself”)

Most people never get pass step one which is why originality in this world is so rare and thus so highly esteemed in our society. The irony is that the once an individual is recognized by society, they run the risk of losing their newly discovered self to the greater whole; the closest analogy would be the obscure punk rock band gaining celebrity and then “selling out” and going mainstream.

In my own life I find that when I lose my sense of self, i.e. when I look to those around me or society to define who I am and the kinds of decisions I should make, I end up getting very depressed and languid. It’s as if the weight of conformity is so overwhelming that my well being suffers. I believe the majority of people in this world are so used to this pressure of conformity that they no longer recognize the immensity of its weight.

Whenever I catch myself wishing to be like someone else, or wishing that I had another life, another body, other talents or abilities, I have to remind myself that I have been uniquely created and I am my own standard and that in order to be the best that I can be, I have only to know myself and trust myself and the rest will fall into place.

Tags:   Virtues · Words of Wisdom2 Comments

Today is my first day of rest since the Saga International Balloon Fiesta began ten days ago. It’s nice to be able to take a nice breather and wake up at a normal hour (7am instead of 5am) but I do miss the fun of waking up early to see the sun rise as amidst all the hustle and bustle of all the pilots and the staff. This event was the most exciting and interesting week that I’ve had in Saga since I’ve arrived and it probably won’t get much better than this past week. Looking back on the past week I am amazed by how much I’ve learned and experienced in such a short span of time. During the week I helped out as a translator and crew for a team from Michigan. Although they were flying simply for fun and not for the competition, we still had to go through the same motions as all the other pilots. I think the most interesting part of the crewing experience was getting to chat with the chaser while we made sure not to let the pilot out of our site. (The chaser is to the hot air balloon as an airport is to an airplane, without the chaser, the balloonist has no way of getting home with the balloon) Through the many conversations I had with Scott (the pilot) and his chasers (Joe and Mike) I realized that my decision to come to Japan was born out of a desire to learn more about myself and life through meeting new people and having new experiences.

I’ve come to realize a couple things about myself that I believe will prove useful in helping me chart out a course towards the future:

1. I am a through and through an inquisitive person curious about all types of things and subjects, but most specifically things that concern people and their lives.
2. I draw on personal experience far more naturally than on abstract concepts or theorems.
3. I try to hard to be the type of person that people will respect, admire and like, rather than on trying hard to be the best me that I can be.
4. I need to define a major goal at every major juncture in life to keep me on track. In high school it was college, in college it was getting the diploma and now that I’m done with school I am faced with the hardest decision thus far, which is– what should I do with my life?
5. We’re all born into certain circumstances but those circumstances need not determine the kind of person we become. For example, Scott was raised to take over his family’s hotel business but he was born to be a PR and marketing expert and that realization came to him along the way.
6. Everyone has their own unique journey; although we can learn from each other and share the wisdom that we’ve gained through our own experiences, in the end we have to be bold enough to step out on our own and make our own decisions along the way.
7. Life is not a race. I’m beginning to realize this more and more as I meet people who are much older and wiser than me, yet I still have a long way to go in truly embracing this truth. Since everyone’s path is unique it makes no sense to see ourselves as participants in a race or competition. The start and finish lines are different for each person as are the checkpoints. When you start thinking of your life’s journey as a competition with others it is easy to lose sight of where you are going.
8. Success has little meaning if it cannot be shared with others.
9. Life is all about the people you meet and grow to love.
10. My best life teachers are the people that I meet along the way.

Although I certainly learned a lot more than these ten points, these are the one’s that have come to mind first. Over the last few weeks since I’ve come to Japan I’ve been wrestling with a lot of conflicting thoughts, regrets and what if’s. Looking back on my four years in college, I couldn’t help the nagging feeling that I’ve wasted a lot of time and made a lot of stupid choices. But this past week gave me the perspective I needed to understand that my past choices were simply part of a constantly unfolding process of realization as I journeyed along my unique and individual path. My decision to take the courses that I took, to not study computer science or engineering as my father earnestly hoped I would, and my decision to spend a year abroad in Japan, China and Berlin are all vital parts in my life’s journey. It’s easy for me to look back and think, “If I had listened to my father I would be in a much better position to help him, or if I had stuck it through with X I would be at point Y now.” but such thoughts point only to my lack of understanding of my own individual journey, my own unique story. I have dreams of helping my dad help the world through implementing his inventions as well as my own dreams of becoming a world famous writer, film maker, advocate and philanthropist, but these dreams and goals are markers that I’ve thrown out into the abyss of what’s to come and while they provide me milestones to work towards, they do not tell me anything about how I am supposed to get there. My father has spent the last forty years of his life working towards his dream of helping the world through his inventions yet he still has not been able to make a significant impact on the world; but that hasn’t phased him in the slightest, because although he doesn’t know how he’s going to get there my father knows, without a doubt, where he is going. He knows where he is going because he understands the purpose of his journey and that is to help people through his gift of developing new technologies.

Something that I realized when talking with Mike about religion and spirituality is that everyone is wired differently. We all think differently and operate differently than everyone else, thus it makes no sense for us to try and be like anyone else but ourselves. Because we are all wired differently, the way in which we can contribute to the world and what we can offer people is always unique. I am convinced that in order for us to truly embrace the purpose of our journey, we have to embrace our individual uniqueness. Copying or mimicking the actions, decisions and choices of others only detracts us from a deeper understanding of who we are and who we were created to be.

I apologize if this post is a bit confusing, I am still thinking through many of these ideas. I will definitely follow up on some of these thoughts so there will be more discussion on this in the next few days. I am also still in the process of fixing up my website so there may be some inconsistencies with links and such, I will try and have those corrected asap.

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We all need patience, after all it’s a virtue. I find it funny that there are so many virtues, like fortitude, justice, compassion, courage etc. Yet the only one that seems to have its own set phrase, is patience. Patience has a few definitions, but the one I like best is quiet, steady perseverance taken from www.dictionary.com. Quiet and steady perseverance is what allowed the tortoise to beat the hare. It is the quality that distinguishes adults from children, the wise from the ignorant. Of all my weaknesses, I believe that patience is my greatest. Lack of patience has led me to make rash decisions and say things that I would later regret. It has also resulted in a large pile of unread books littering the floor of my room. I believe my lack of patience stems from being raised in a culture that is characterized by instant gratification, a world that is instant and on demand.

Instant and On Demand

Given the instant and on demand world that we live in today, it isn’t surprising that the youth of today reject anything that requires delayed gratification or takes longer than their attention span can cope with. Just as discipline and good habits are key components of success, patience is a necessary virtue in the pursuit of any worthy goal. Even with discipline and good habits, without patience in today’s fast paced world, it’s very easy to give up soon after embarking on a goal due to restlessness and a desire to see positive results immediately. When I look back on my life and the decisions I’ve made to bring me to where I am today, I can see a very clear pattern of impatience. Patience is a virtue that I am working to develop; I believe firmly that it will serve me well in the future.

Discipline and Patience

So how to we develop patience? Well I think the development of patience requires discipline. We need to build up our patience meter over time. You can think of patience as the duration of time you can wait before giving up or losing your cool. Discipline allows us to build up our ability to endure and wait gradually. However on the flip side, discipline requires patience. If you are not patient, short term discipline will fail. For example, when you decide to change your diet in order to lose weight you expect an immediate and drastic change, but if the change doesn’t come fast enough, even after a few successful days of maintaining a disciplined diet you will probably give in to your old eating habits. Patience allows us to persevere over long periods of time. Given that discipline and patience are uniquely dependent on each other, it seems impossible to have one without the other. If you can’t have one without the other, how do you develop them both?

Peace and Patience

If we live in a world that is conditioned to expect instant gratification it isn’t surprising that ours is a culture that lacks the virtue of patience. But perhaps the impatient nature of our society points to an even deeper problem. I believe that a lack of patience is preceded by a fundamental lack of peace. Patience requires a state of mind that is quiet and steady, one that is at peace with itself and the world around it. A mind that is overly agitated or preoccupied with life cannot maintain the state of peaceful tranquility that patience requires. Though I’ve managed to get through rough periods of my life with my teeth clenched, I don’t think I would classify that as quiet, and steady perseverance. While I’ve never tasted true and lasting peace, I can imagine that it would be a truly wonderful state of being. Being in a constant state of peace would mean that your emotions would not flux between extreme lows and highs; it means that our well being and mental state would not be controlled by circumstance. When we have truly reached a state of peace in our lives, patience becomes an afterthought. Patience and perseverance are the fruits of a soul at peace.

Maintaining Peace

I hear taking deep breaths and drinking chamomile tea helps calm the body, but unfortunately that isn’t a sustainable in the long run. There are many books on meditation and spiritual awakening, but I haven’t tried any of them so I wouldn’t know. Being a follower of Jesus, I know that eternal peace and rest, a necessary condition for true patience, is to be found in God. The difficulty is in convincing the heart what the mind knows. I may know the secret to eternal peace, but I lack the ability to grasp hold of it because of the raging war that goes on within my heart, mind and soul between what I know to be true and all the distractions that the world seems to constantly throw at me. I believe that peace can be arrived at in a number of ways, but one thing I am sure of is that peace will remain out of reach if you allow yourself to be engaged in a world that functions on the basis of having things instant and on demand 24/7.

So in conclusion… I believe the search for patience is a fundamentally a search for peace, when you are at peace with yourself, your desires and what the world tells you to think or believe, patience will naturally follow. However, understanding this and living it out are two completely different challenges. But I have no doubt that it is a challenge worth undertaking.

Tags:   Virtues1 Comment

It is often said that developing good habits is the key to success. Everybody wants to be successful, whether it is financial, relational, physical, spiritual etc. Yet why do so few people realize that in order to be successful developing good habits is necessary? In my opinion it all comes down to desire. People don’t want success badly enough because they are lazy, content or complacent; I think if one could overcome the initial force of laziness of conformity that takes hold of most people, the importance of good habits would be come obvious. Human beings are rational and incredibly intelligent creatures and that is both a strength and a weakness. Our intelligence allows us to measure a given situation and assess whether or not a given action is worth our undertaking. I also believe that human beings are by nature lazy. Hard work is difficult and painful and thus undesirable. Human beings naturally take the path of least resistance; that’s common sense right? And since good habits, discipline and a good work ethic are paths of great resistance, most people choose not to follow them.

I guess the question that you have to ask yourself is, “Are you willing to pay the price for success?” If your willing, then let’s talk about habits. If not, then you should probably stop reading

Habits

What are habits? Well according to the dictionary.com definition, habits are: acquired behavioral patterns regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary; customary practice or use. Working with this definition, I believe good habits can best be described as habits that yield desirable and positive results; consequently, bad habits are ones that yield negative or undesirable results. If we want to successful, we need to develop good habits. The key to success then becomes, how do we break bad habits and how do we create good ones?

Breaking Bad Habits

When it comes to breaking a bad habit we first have to identify them and acknowledge their existence. For example, a smoker who wishes to improve their health but refuses to admit that smoking is a bad habit is not going to make much progress with their goal. However, even after a smoker admits that theirs is a bad habit, that does not naturally lead to a breaking of the habit. In order to break the habit, the individual would have to make the decision to break the habit, take action and continue following through with that action. Thoughts without follow up actions are useless, in fact they might be damaging because it may leave one feeling feeble and weak, impressing upon the self a feeling of powerlessness.

The Four Steps of Habit Breaking:

1. Identify the Problem
2. Decide on a Course of Action
3. Act
4. Follow Through

Sounds simple? Most people manage to make it past step one and two but when it comes to the crucial third and fourth steps, most people fail. Or people manage to act but fail in the follow through. If you liken the process to climbing a mountain, the first two steps are at the base of the mountain when one’s energy and stamina are at its height. The mountain hasn’t gotten too steep yet and your spirits are still high. But there will come a point in the trek where the mountain suddenly appears much steeper and harder to climb than you at first imagined. This is the point where most people give up. You turn around and head back down the mountain because you realize climbing it was much harder than you imagined.

The process of habit breaking is in essence the same. Identifying a bad habit and making the decision to change it is much easier than acting on that decision and following through with it. If good habits are the foundation of success then action and follow through are the pillars that keep the foundation standing. I remember during my freshman year of high school when I was addicted to online computer games, I had tried numerous attempts to break the habit by handing the game CDs over to my mother. That solution usually lasted for a few weeks until the desire to play became too strong to resist and I forced myself to find a way to get my hands on those games again. This happened over and over again. Eventually I broke the habit, but it wasn’t a dramatic break, rather it was a process that took a fair amount of time and commitment. Breaking bad habits takes sincere commitment and persistent; you have to be realistic with yourself. Stopping things cold turkey is usually not successful unless you are able to sustain that motivation over the long run.

The Long Run - Maintaining Momentum and Persistence

The irony of breaking bad habits is that it requires persistence, which is in essence the foundation of good habits. Thus breaking bad habits and forming good habits go hand in hand. Good habits are patterns of actions that yield positive results; developing an action until it becomes a set pattern requires persistence. Only when good habits replace bad habits can the removal of bad habits be sustained in the long run. There are many methods that one can use to remain persistent in breaking a bad habit. Here are a few that I have found useful:

1) Creating a mantra - When I was a child I used to create mantras in order to condition myself, usually when trying to create a new habit. If you’re trying to break a long standing habit, then it might help to create a short phrase that you can repeat constantly throughout the day like a mantra. The idea is to continually reaffirm your goal to the point where you cannot go a moment without thinking about it.

2) Accountability - Perhaps the most effective method of habit breaking is to ask someone keep you accountable. It’s easy to let ourselves down by giving up, but it is much harder to let someone else down, especially if we care about that someone and they care about us.

3) Reward yourself for small milestones - Like climbing a mountain, it’s easy to decide to break a bad habit, but actually accomplishing that goal is much harder. It’s hard to imagine the challenge that we will have to face in the intermediary steps on the way to achieving our goals. It may be helpful to set small milestones and reward yourself when you reach them. It’s much easier to sustain momentum when you give yourself incentives. Just make sure that the incentives you give yourself are not counterproductive (e.g. allowing yourself a cigarette after going a week without smoking)

One Day at a Time

Breaking bad habits is hard work. So be gentle with yourself. If you fail, pick yourself up and start again. If success is important enough to you then the effort you put in will be worth it. Although I hated myself for lacking the willpower to break my online game addiction during my first few attempts, over time I was able to break the habit by continually reinforcing my desired outcome. If I didn’t break the habit I told myself my life would amount to nothing; holding that image of a wasted life helped me to persist in my efforts to end my addiction. Continual and persistent effort is the key to breaking bad habits and forming good ones. Even if you give into your bad habits many times along the way, as long as you keep at it you will make it. Remind yourself everyday what it is you want to change and visualize the outcome; hold onto that image and turn it into action and repeat. If you keep that up there’s no way you will fail !

Tags:   Personal Development · Words of WisdomNo Comments.