Chester’s Tips for Success

Tips on How to Live a Rich, Passionate and Meaningful Life

Toastmasters Speech #2 - Better Than You Think

December 6th, 2008 by Chester

Here’s my second speech from the Competent Communicator manual. It seems my difficulty is in keeping things within the time limit. If I aim for a sub 900 word speech, (this speech is about 1350) I think that might get things in under 7 minutes.

Title of the Speech: Better Than You Think
Enjoy!

Mr. Toastmaster, Fellow Toastmasters and most welcome guests. Have you ever woken up and wished there was a reset button, or a giant bottle of white out that you could pour out over all the dirty, messy gunk in your life?

Well it happened to me not too long ago, a few years back during the latter half of my high school career. I was in the thick of things: my mother was laid off; my father, who had been out of work since I began high school, was diagnosed with prostate cancer; and my sister, still a freshman in high school, looked like E.T.’s sister, with her right eye floating where her forehead should have been because of a tumor in her face the size of my fist. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I got rejected by a girl I liked who confessed, “I’m not into smart guys.”

I was crippled by every bit of insecurity a boy of seventeen could have. And though I walked around with a veneer of hope and optimism, I was raw and hurt on the inside, a glass pane ready to shatter.

Things didn’t change immediately, but they did improve as I met more people, heard more stories. During my freshman year in college, I met Douglas, a man who taught ex-convicts and parolees marketable skills so they could find decent paying jobs that would keep them off the streets. When I asked Douglas why he was doing the work he was doing, he said, “Because I was there once, I remember what it was like.” Douglas, at the ripe age of fourteen, was among the wealthiest and most successful drug dealers in his neighborhood. He had the women, the cars and more money than his fourteen year old mind could dream of spending. At one point Douglas had seven Mercedes Benzes lined up outside his half million dollar home. Douglas was living the high life. He smiled as he retold the story, his big lips widening as he spoke, “Until I got hit.”

“Hit?” I asked.
“Three times, here, here and here.” He pointed to three points on his face. “In a drive by shooting.”

The fact that Douglas survived was a miracle. To this day, one bullet is still lodged in his skull, too risky to extract, a reminder of the life he used to live. What’s even more remarkable is the fact that Douglas found the courage to turn his life around. He refused to believe that his life was a waste. The second act had just begun and he was ready to change people’s lives. He could have died there, but for Douglas that wasn’t good enough, he knew there was something better on its way. I remember trembling as I recorded his confident, firm voice, in awe of a man with such immutable confidence.

He smiled at me, “Yea it was hard. I found something to hope in; that’s what got me through.”

Though Douglas’ story is a bit extreme, it bears an important truth worth sharing: even when the chips are down, and everything looks as bleak and black as a heap of coals, there’s always a brighter side. Things are always better than we think.

When I flashback to my high school years, I have this overwhelming urge to smile at the silliness of it all. I was depressed by a pretty girl who didn’t like smart guys. Ha! And yet for my myopic, seventeen year old self, that was everything, the whole world encapsulated in a long hair, bright eyed girl with a to-die-for smile. And what’s ironic is that, for all my self-centered childishness, I have no one to blame but myself because, in the end, it was my choice. I chose to believe that life sucked, and for a long while, it did.

Optimism and pessimism are two sides of the same coin. Both are leaps of faith. There’s no proof that something will turn out better or worse than we think. In the end we choose one and live out its consequences.

It has been shown in numerous studies that optimism leads to longer life and better health. In a recent study Dr. Rotin Peled found that optimists or women who identified themselves as happy people were 25% less likely to develop breast cancer. So if for nothing else, choose optimism, because, chances are, you’ll be happier and healthier.

But you may say, “Kevin that sounds nice and all, but it’s a lot easier said than done.”

And I’d reply, “Yes, you’re absolutely right, but it’s still worth a shot.”

Yes, we live in a messed up world, a discombobulated, bizarre universe where people with good jobs, beautiful homes and well fed stomachs kill themselves, while half way around the world people starve to death. There’s enough misery and destitution to turn the world into Scrooge-land five times over. But there’s also reason to hope. Amidst the doom and gloom there’s reason to believe things will get better.

Because the truth is: things are always better than we think. Believe it. How many times have you thought that your life was over, only to realize in retrospect, that things were better than we thought? Whether it’s a man like Douglas who went from drug dealing to mentoring drug dealers, or a dedicated teacher who spends a few extra hours tutoring struggling students, or the passerby who willingly parts with his hard earned wages to feed a hungry, tired soul— there’s hope to be found. It’s all around us, even in the grittiest, darkest places. A wise woman once told me, “Kevin, all those bad things will pass and in time, things always get better, but only if we choose to believe it.”

And that’s the key my friends: choice. We can choose to believe things will continue to plunge into a deep, dark and bottomless pit of despair, or we can believe that there are angels waiting around the corner to hark with trumpets blazing, ready to welcome us with songs of joy. Either way, it’s our choice.

Sure it’s not easy. Sometimes we just want to mope in our own misery. I know, I’ve been there, more times than I’d care to admit. But if there’s one thing that life has taught me, it’s that life is like a giant game of dominoes. Everything’s connected. What we choose today will impact the choices of others from now and forever. So if you don’t care about health, about long life, then at least believe in this:

Good begets good. Hope engenders more hope. Douglas’ triumph was not only his triumph, but the triumph of hundreds more like him. His story is one that will continue to touch and inspire others, people who he’ll never meet in his lifetime. Hope is a seed that travels far and wide, looking for someone to breathe new life into. Our hope today lays the foundations for the hope of tomorrow.

Five years later, with a bit more wisdom on my young shoulders, I can say with confidence that high school turned out better than I thought. Despite the bad hair days, the crazy girls and the pressures of getting into college, I was surrounded by many blessings. I had many loving, caring and inspiring teachers who believed in me, friends who stayed with me, no matter how many times I seemed to fail them. My father’s cancer was controlled, my mother found a job and my sister had her tumor extracted with no complications. And that girl I liked? Well I think she still doesn’t like smart guys, but I got over it.

And so I leave you all tonight with one important question: which do you believe? Is this glass half full or half empty? Remember, the choice is yours.

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